DEAR JUMAI,
MY partner and I have been together for over three years, and I love him deeply. However, lately, he’s been struggling with anxiety and sadness. I try to support him, but I feel like I’m walking on eggshells.
He often cancels plans at the last minute and sometimes isolates himself for days. I want to help him feel better, but I’m not sure what to do. When I suggest seeing a therapist or practising self-care, he gets defensive and shuts down.
I worry that I might say the wrong thing and make things worse. It’s hard watching someone I love suffer, and I’m starting to feel overwhelmed myself. I want to be there for him without losing myself in the process. What should I do? Lia
Dear Lia,
Supporting someone with mental health struggles can be incredibly challenging. It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed, especially when you want to help but don’t know how.
First, remember that it’s okay to set boundaries for your own well-being. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Encourage open conversations without pressure. You might say, “I’m here for you. What do you need right now?” Sometimes, just knowing he has your support can be comforting.
Keep inviting him to engage in activities that might uplift his mood, but don’t push him if he’s not ready. If he resists professional help, you can offer resources without pushing. It’s crucial to recognise that healing is a personal journey, and he must take steps at his own pace.
Take time for self-care, too. Caring for someone else doesn’t mean neglecting your own needs. Seek support for yourself, whether through friends, family, or even counselling. Remember, your love and patience are powerful, and being there for him is already a significant step.
