Matrimonial security and respect are something that few married men of today have, and what many would like to have. For the latter, it often seems elusive and hard to come by these days; more so with the upcoming young couples, or should I say, the new ‘generation couples’, and that is if one has even challenged their matrimonial disregard and disrespect or insecurity. For these people, it may appear to be how life is, and this means that it is often accepted.
If a man is matrimonially disregarded or disrespected, it is going to affect many areas of his life. There is, of course, the inner stress that will be created, and this will then lead to outer stress. So, the inner instability that one feels always has the potential to increase through the combination of the two sides, staying away from home or becoming a brutal husband that is orchestrated by an unruly, disloyal and disrespectful wife.
There are moments in a man’s life when he will feel insecure, depressed and challenged. This could be after the loss of a loved one, during a time of illness or a relationship that has come to an end. These could be described as part of the human experience, but these are very different to the feeling of being emotionally brutalised by one’s wife regularly.
That our forefathers lived a life full of age is a truism; they enjoyed the complete respect, care, attention and good domestic ministration of their wives. But the same cannot be said or guaranteed of the married men of today, because most wives now can best be described as ‘weapons of men’s destruction’. Little wonder we, in most cases, die before our time, all thanks to a nagging, confrontational and disrespectful wife!
Yes, agreed, it is also possible for one to have certain habits or tendencies that cover up their inadequacies, and this can be done so automatically that it is out of one’s conscious awareness and soon passes without the slightest recollection. While this may be true for some women and at certain times for others, there will be times when this approach is unsuccessful. And this can lead to a myriad of internal experiences being triggered.
Most women, and possibly some men and some esteem readers, may find it hard to conceive what Bonano is trying to structure here and why he is on the threshold of today’s wives. The reason is not a mile away, but the alarming rate of broken and disharmonious homes with this generation has orchestrated this approach. A comparative analysis between wives of today and those of yesterday will give a pointer to the fact that Bonano holds no grudges against the wives of today, but he is pained by the uncultured turn of events by these women! Now, let us evaluate the attitude of yesterday and today’s wives.
Yesterday’s Wives: Welcome my husband, hope the office was not stressful, your favourite food is ready, let me lead you to the bathroom first, then you take your dinner. You look so tired, I am sure you’ll be okay after taking your dinner. Welcome, welcome, my one and only.
Today’s Wives: “Look at the time you are returning from work, how am I sure it’s even your workplace you are coming from? Please don’t put unnecessary pressure on me, you can go to the fridge, pick up the stew, microwave it and boil the remaining rice, I am your wife and not your cook”.
Yesterday’s Wives: Darling, stop thinking about our lack of money. It’s going to be temporary. God will see us through, and we are going to come out of it stronger. After all, we can still feed ourselves and the children. We need to give the Almighty that glory. I am with you through thick and thin, my husband, the owner of my dowry.”
Today’s Wives: Look, I am sick and tired of living in this abject poverty with you. Why did you bring me to your house when you know that you are not ready for marriage? Every day is one complaint or another. Are you the ‘Complainant General of Nigeria? We don’t have cars, our house is ‘face me I slap you’, when your mates are in GRAs. Look, if you don’t find solutions to your problems, you will come back and not find me in this, your rotten house.
Yesterday’s Wives: My husband, take heart and don’t worry. I shall go with you to Ozoro. You being transferred from the glitterati of Asaba to Ozoro might be a blessing in disguise. We shall take advantage of the educational institutions to advance our education. Some disappointments could be a blessing.
Today’s Wives: I can’t follow you to Ozoro o. God forbid a bad thing. From Asaba to Ozoro? I can’t cope with such a demotion. To start living in a village? You had better look for another wife. I can’t live in a town without Silver Birds, Crunchies, Fortune Supermarket or Shoprite”!
Continue next week
