BY SAM DUVWODE
In today’s rapidly evolving society, a growing concern arises when women aspire to mirror men in every aspect of life, from privileges and behaviours to roles and responsibilities.
This pursuit, while seemingly empowering, may ultimately lead to self-sabotage and societal imbalance. At its core, men and women are fundamentally different, not just physically but also in their wiring, purposes, and contributions to the world. A woman can never truly become like a man, nor should she aim to; likewise, a man cannot replicate a woman’s unique essence. Bonano will contend here that embracing these differences is essential for personal fulfilment and harmonious relationships, with the clear fact that one of the most profound differences lies in reproduction.
A man can never experience the miracle of giving birth, a capability that defines much of a woman’s biological role. This thirst to create life drives men to provide and protect, ensuring the woman can nurture the child.
While a woman possesses the strength to raise a baby independently, men often go to great lengths to support this process. Attempting to erase these distinctions ignores the natural order, whether viewed through the lens of evolution or divine design. Physically and spiritually, men and women are not wired the same. Men are typically more risk-taking and carefree, venturing into dangerous territories to secure resources for their families. Women, on the other hand, exhibit a discretionary nature, carefully weighing opportunities due to the potential consequences, such as bearing more children than they can manage.
This investigative approach stems from the high stakes involved in relationships; a single decision can be life-altering. For women, focusing on equality in risk-taking can lead to unnecessary stress, as their biology predisposes them to caution rather than recklessness. Today, modern women increasingly demand the same privileges as men, questioning why they should submit to someone they consider an equal. This mindset extends to vices as well, comparing themselves to men in areas like infidelity or promiscuity, rather than in virtuous pursuits. Bonano will dare to say that, in an era where shame has diminished and nudity is commonplace, such arguments inadvertently devalue women collectively and individually. By boldly propositioning and stubbornly debating, women risk discouraging men from commitment, reducing themselves to mere companions or objects of desire.
The consequences are stark, as more women are ageing without finding husbands, resulting in a troubling rise in young women turning to prostitution as a means of survival. This not only shames current generations but compromises the future.
Men, in contrast, lose relatively little in this dynamic. They can marry multiple wives and love them generously, though not necessarily equally, as equity in affection is not demanded of them. A woman, however, cannot thrive under two heads; she would inevitably favour one and despise the other, leading to chaos. At the heart of these differences is the procreation space, the realm of intimacy and reproduction that women navigate with inherent risks.
This space is both a source of temptation and vulnerability. Women use it to attract men, perpetuating the cycle of creation, but it also exposes them to violations that carry lasting impacts, even if penalised by society. While no one condones such violations, the reality is that evolution or creation designed women to be physically less imposing but mentally sharper, relying on discretion for protection. Bonano will persuade you to consider the analogy of a lion and a deer. Protecting the deer from the lion’s instincts requires restricting one or both, which disrupts natural freedoms. Binding the lion curbs its hunting drive, while confining the deer limits its liberty.
Similarly, women’s attempts to make their physical space entirely safe tamper with evolutionary design. A deer’s freedom is no less than a lion’s; it must simply protect its space amid risks. Humans face the same challenge, managing the procreation space within societal constructs like occupations, rather than eliminating gender differences.
In spaces where gender is irrelevant, such as certain professional environments, equality can and should prevail. But the procreational space permeates all aspects of life, making complete erasure impossible. Every family needs a risk-taker, who is often the man and a risk-avoider, who is often the woman, to maintain balance. Tampering with this foundation unravels the fabric of human existence.
Bonano would ask, why, then, do women feel compelled to emulate men? What is there to prove? Nothing, women already occupy a wonderful, irreplaceable space in the world. Their attempts at equality in male domains are as futile as a man’s efforts to feminize his world. Would a woman truly want a man to become like her? Unlikely. Yet, the reverse aspiration persists, fueled by misguided education and societal pressures. Bonano would contend here that what most women do not know is that the toll is heavy, because when old age arrives, regrets surface, and depression often follows. Women become victims of their own folly, bold propositions leading to isolation rather than empowerment.
Conversely, Bonano will argue that the solution lies in humility, embracing the calling to support and complement a husband, rather than compete. Be fruitful, glorify your creator or the natural order, and reject the notion of submission to multiple authorities. Bonano would submit that men and women are not interchangeable; their differences are the threads weaving the tapestry of life. Women should celebrate their unique strengths, discretion, nurturing, and mental acuity rather than chasing male traits. By doing so, they preserve their value, foster stable families, and avoid the pitfalls of a misguided quest for sameness. Let those with ears hear, love and enjoy the world as it was meant to be, risks and all.
