Dear Jumai
I am Amaka. I have been in a three-year relationship. I love him, but I feel like I’m slowly losing myself.
I recently got an opportunity to start my own business, with investors ready to invest, which is something I’ve dreamed about for years, and it excites me.
When I told him about my plans, he said it would take too much of my time and energy, and that I should focus more on our relationship. I felt my chest tighten; I don’t want to hurt him, but I also can’t give up on my dream.
Every day, I feel torn between the love I have for him and the life I want for myself. I’m scared that if I choose ambition, I’ll lose him, but if I choose him, I’ll lose a part of me forever. I don’t know how to move forward without feeling like I’m failing in one area of my life.
Dear Amaka,
I feel your heart in every word you’ve written. The ache of wanting to follow your dreams while fearing the loss of love is heavy, and it’s not something anyone should have to navigate alone.
You are standing at a crossroads, torn between the person you love and the person you are meant to become, and it is okay to admit that it’s painful.
It is important to remember that love should never demand the sacrifice of your dreams. Your ambition is a part of who you are, the fire that drives you, the vision that keeps you awake at night, dreaming of a future only you can create. A partner who truly loves you will see your drive, your courage, and your determination not as a threat, but as a reflection of your strength.
Permit yourself to pursue your business. Speak openly with him, share your fears, and show him your heart.
Let him know that loving him does not mean giving up on the life you have worked so hard to imagine. And watch how he responds. A partner who respects your journey will encourage you, support you, and walk with you, not try to tether your wings.
Remember, Amaka, choosing your dreams is not choosing him less. It is choosing yourself, your worth, your future, and the life you were meant to live. Do not shrink to fit into someone else’s comfort zone. Grow, and allow love to grow alongside you.
