Dear Jumai,
I had a friend named Victoria. She is beautiful, confident and admired by everyone. I felt lucky to be her friend, and because I admired her so much, I tried hard to be loyal. Over time, I realised I was living in her shadow. She was everything I wished I could be, and I admired her so much that I didn’t notice the imbalance in our friendship.
One day, everything changed. We went shopping, and I picked something I liked, asking if she could pay for it so I could refund her later. She agreed. But at the counter, she suddenly pulled out my item and shouted at me in front of everyone, saying she never asked me to take it, questioning if I even had money.
She embarrassed me publicly, and I felt so small. I went home without saying a word and decided I would never speak to her again. A few days later, she apologised and asked to meet. I ignored her. Now she keeps texting. Should I forgive her? Joe
Dear Joe,
What she did was deeply hurtful. Being shamed in public by someone you trusted can cut into the heart in a way ordinary disagreements don’t. Forgiving her in your heart can bring you peace, but forgiveness doesn’t require you to return to a friendship that makes you feel inferior or unsafe.
You are allowed to protect your dignity and your emotional space. You can let go gently, without bitterness, and without reopening a door that no longer feels healthy.
