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Sunday, November 23, 2025

To Kneel Or Not To Kneel

Internet loves a viral moment, and recently, a seemingly simple marriage proposal has sparked a heated global conversation. It wasn’t the candle-lit setting, the expensive ring, or the teary reaction of the bride-to-be that set social media on fire. Instead, it was one missing element: the groom never knelt.

That choice, deliberate or not, has since drawn thousands of comments, think-pieces, and debates. For some, it was a shocking dismissal of one of romance’s most sacred traditions. For others, it was a refreshing break from outdated customs. The discussion has quickly grown beyond one couple’s engagement, opening up larger questions about love, tradition, respect, and equality in the modern world.

The act of kneeling during a proposal is not a random invention of the modern era. It carries with it centuries of cultural symbolism. In medieval Europe, kneeling was a gesture of loyalty and humility, often used in religious worship and in acts of fealty to kings or lords. To kneel was to lower oneself in honour of someone greater, to signal respect and devotion.

When this gesture migrated into the realm of romance, it took on a deeply personal meaning. By kneeling, a man declared vulnerability, humility, and earnest commitment before the woman he hoped to marry. Over time, this became an expectation: the very image of a man on one knee, holding out a ring, came to symbolise one of life’s most significant moments.

To many people today, that tradition is sacred. It represents not just love, but a gesture of respect for the seriousness of marriage. They argue that proposals are not merely casual promises; they are life-changing commitments. A small act like kneeling, they say, elevates the moment with reverence and weight.

A growing number of people view the act of kneeling as outdated, even problematic. Critics argue that its roots in submission, hierarchy, and patriarchal traditions make it less romantic and more symbolic of inequality.

In this light, the act can be interpreted as reinforcing the idea that marriage proposals are one-sided—where one partner (usually the man) must perform an act of devotion, while the other (usually the woman) is the gatekeeper of approval. For some modern couples who see their relationships as equal partnerships, the symbolism no longer resonates.

The groom in the viral video, then, has been praised by some as progressive. By staying on his feet, he sent a message that he sees his partner as an equal, not someone to bow before. For many, that shift is important in a world where gender roles are being redefined and outdated customs are being challenged.

It’s worth remembering that not all cultures embrace the kneeling tradition. In many African societies, for example, marriage proposals historically were less about public gestures and more about family negotiations, dowries, and community celebrations. In East Asia, proposals are often quiet, private exchanges, without dramatic displays. In some Middle Eastern traditions, marriages are agreed upon by families long before a proposal moment ever occurs.

The Westernised image of a man on one knee with a diamond ring has become global, largely due to media, movies, and advertising, especially through the powerful campaigns of jewellery companies in the 20th century. What many view today as “timeless tradition” is, in reality, a relatively recent global export.

Traditions carry power because they link us to the past. But they should never become prisons. A proposal is not about meeting society’s expectations; it’s about authenticity between two people. If kneeling feels meaningful to a couple, then it’s beautiful. If it feels empty or outdated, then it’s okay to adapt or discard it. If a groom avoids kneeling but still expresses deep sincerity, the gesture may carry more weight than a traditional kneel done without feeling.

Online, the conversation around the video has been predictably polarised. Some commenters decried the groom’s choice, calling it “lazy,” “disrespectful,” or “unromantic.” Others applauded him, praising his courage to defy convention and embrace equality. Memes, parodies, and passionate threads have only added fuel to the fire.

Interestingly, younger audiences appear more open to ditching the tradition, while older generations remain attached to it. This generational divide reflects broader cultural shifts: as society reevaluates long-standing norms, even romantic rituals are being reimagined.

At its core, the uproar over this viral proposal highlights something bigger: the tension between tradition and modernity in how we express love. Rituals like kneeling during a proposal carry weight because they are familiar, recognisable, and steeped in cultural memory. But love itself is not bound to any one gesture.

A successful proposal, kneeling or not, comes down to sincerity, authenticity, and mutual understanding. If the couple is happy, then the ritual has served its purpose, regardless of what outsiders think. After all, no tradition is more important than the love and commitment it seeks to represent.

The debate over whether a groom should kneel may seem trivial at first glance, but it reflects deeper societal questions about gender, tradition, and modern values. Love has always been shaped by culture, and culture, in turn, is always changing.

Perhaps the real takeaway from the viral video is that romance does not live in a single gesture. It lives in the shared values, respect, and commitment of two people choosing to build a future together. Whether expressed by kneeling, standing tall, or something entirely unconventional, what matters most is that the moment feels true to the couple.

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