For generations across many African societies, families have placed great emphasis on raising daughters with care, discipline, and deliberate training. From an early age, girls are taught domestic skills, respect for elders, and responsibility toward family. They are prepared for their future roles as wives, mothers, and homemakers, and more recently, as professionals contributing to economic progress. While this focus has produced resilient and capable women, it has also unintentionally created an imbalance: boys often receive less structured training, fewer household responsibilities, and less moral supervision.
This imbalance is beginning to show its consequences in modern African homes and societies. Strong, well-prepared women find themselves partnered with men who are less prepared for the demands of family life, shared responsibility, and emotional maturity. The question, then, is clear: Shouldn’t parents put the same effort into training their boys as they do their girls?
The answer is an emphatic yes. Parenting should not be lopsided. Both sons and daughters deserve equal attention, guidance, and discipline. Doing so not only benefits individual families but also strengthens communities and nations.
Traditionally, the extra focus on girls can be explained by cultural norms. In many African societies, daughters were seen as custodians of the home and family reputation. Their conduct was considered a reflection of the entire household. Parents, therefore, monitored them closely and taught them to embody values such as humility, modesty, and service.
For instance, girls were expected to wake up early, cook, clean, care for younger siblings, and demonstrate hospitality to visitors. In contrast, boys were often given more freedom to roam, play, or pursue personal interests. Their responsibility was frequently framed in terms of provision, which was seen as a role they would grow into later in life.
This unequal parenting approach may have been understandable in pre-modern societies where gender roles were rigid and sharply divided. However, today’s realities demand a more balanced approach.
When parents fail to train boys with the same discipline and responsibility as girls, several long-term issues arise, such as Unprepared Men in Adulthood.
Many men enter adulthood lacking basic life skills such as cooking, cleaning, or managing a household. This puts unfair pressure on women to carry both the domestic and emotional load in families.
Some boys have a weak Sense of Responsibility. Boys raised without accountability often struggle with responsibility as adults. They may find it difficult to commit to work, relationships, or community roles, perpetuating cycles of instability.
When boys are excused from responsibility while girls are overburdened, harmful gender stereotypes are reinforced. Boys grow up believing that women are meant to serve, while they are free to lead without accountability. This mindset undermines progress toward gender equality.
Parenting is about preparing children for life, not for gender roles alone. Both boys and girls will face challenges, responsibilities, and expectations as adults. Training them equally equips them to become balanced individuals who contribute meaningfully to their families and communities.
Cooking, cleaning, financial management, and respect for others are not “female skills.” They are human skills. A boy who learns these skills grows into a man who can manage his home and support his partner, creating healthier family dynamics.
In modern households, women are often breadwinners alongside men. Shared responsibility in domestic life reduces stress and fosters cooperation. A man who can cook dinner or care for children while his wife works late is not “less of a man”—he is a partner in the truest sense.
Tomorrow’s leaders are today’s children. Boys who are trained in discipline, empathy, and responsibility grow into men who lead with integrity. Without proper training, they risk becoming leaders who misuse power or avoid responsibility altogether.
Children learn from what they see. A boy who grows up seeing his father cook, clean, and share household duties learns that partnership is normal. He will likely replicate this balanced model in his own future family.
Across Africa, examples abound of what happens when boys are raised without adequate training. In urban areas, many young men who live alone for work or school struggle with basic self-sufficiency. Some depend heavily on fast food or domestic help because they never learned to cook or manage a home.
In contrast, men who were raised with balanced training often stand out as dependable partners and fathers. Stories of husbands who confidently support their wives during maternity leave by managing household tasks show the power of equal upbringing. These examples highlight that training boys is not just about “helping the girl child,” but about producing well-rounded men.
Many religious traditions emphasise discipline, respect, and service as virtues for all children, not just girls. In Christianity, Proverbs 22:6 reminds parents to “train up a child in the way he should go.” The scripture does not say “train up the girl child”—it speaks of all children. Similarly, in Islam, Prophet Muhammad taught that both sons and daughters are blessings from God, deserving equal love and guidance.
When parents reserve moral training only for girls, they distort these teachings. Both sons and daughters need moral grounding to navigate life’s temptations and challenges.
Parents should Assign Responsibilities Equally, let boys cook, wash dishes, or care for younger siblings, just as girls do. These tasks build responsibility and empathy. Teach Financial Literacy: Train both boys and girls to save, budget, and value money. This prevents entitlement and prepares them for independence. Encourage Respect for All – Boys should be taught to respect women as equals, while girls should be encouraged to respect themselves and others.
Africa is changing. Women are rising as leaders, professionals, and entrepreneurs, while men are increasingly expected to share in domestic and emotional responsibilities. To thrive in this evolving landscape, boys must be as well-trained and prepared as girls.
The vision for the future is not to reduce the training of the girl child but to raise the standard for the boy child. When both boys and girls grow up equally equipped with life skills, moral values, and responsibility, families become stronger, marriages become more balanced, and societies become more stable.
For too long, the burden of discipline and training has rested heavily on the shoulders of the girl child, while boys were allowed to slip by with minimal preparation. This imbalance has created households where women are overprepared and men underprepared, leading to frustration and conflict in modern family life.
The solution is not to ease up on girls but to raise boys with the same dedication, effort, and discipline. Parenting should not be biased by gender but guided by the goal of raising responsible, capable, and compassionate human beings.
Ultimately, the destiny of Africa’s future families and societies depends not only on the strength of its women but also on the preparedness of its men. Parents who train both sons and daughters equally contribute to building a balanced, fair, and thriving generation.
